I Am The Thin Woman

Inspired by Zan Ross's slam piece at the 2010 WA Poetry Slam.

I am the thin woman. The skinny woman.
I can sidle through narrow spaces,
and count all my ribs.

I am the tall woman. The long woman.
People say "Oh! Is it raining? You'd be the first to know."
I have to order my jeans from a special warehouse, interstate,
because I want jeans that reach all the way down to my feet.

I am the shallow woman.
I am very, very shallow.
And because I lack depth, that is as far as my self-analysis has gotten.

I am the discreet woman. The sexy woman.
I will laugh at your dirty jokes
and pretend not to know what you mean when you say
"Want to come in for a coffee?"

I am the watcher of daytime TV -
it's a boring job, but somebody's got to do it.

I am the thin woman. The skinny woman.
And yes, I will have something to eat -
but not because you told me to.